why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize