Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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