quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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