Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dear god my vagina.
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