i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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