Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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