i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize