Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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