how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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