Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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