He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize