I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
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Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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Couch. On fire.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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