Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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