508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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