no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize