So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize