PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize