and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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