the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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