I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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