Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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