my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize