Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize