Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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