At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize