I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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