Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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