Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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