Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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