I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize