my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the condom got lost in my hair
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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