I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize