I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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