I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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