Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize