this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize