so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize