Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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