im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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