what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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