i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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