No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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