i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize