his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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