we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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