dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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