would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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