I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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