Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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