You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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